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zzloch · 6 years ago

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You Like Him- Lyredey and Gruvia Double date

Hey people, this is set in a high school au, I hope you like it

A blue-haired girl stood in front of her midnight blue car, nervously waiting for one of her best friends to arrive."Meredy!" Juvia yelled at the pinkette, waving her arm. "Juvi!" Meredy said excitedly. Juvia and Meredy hugged. The best friends had both had been busy, with schoolwork, clubs, and Juvia started had swimming.

"What do you want to do tonight and tomorrow?" Juvia questioned her friend. This was the one night they could meet up and have a sleepover.

"Well, I was thinking we just lounge around." Meredy shrugged.

"Juvia got tickets to the carnival!" Juvia said, holding up two slips of cardstock, with barcodes on them.

Meredy eyes lit up, the carnival was her favorite place to go.

"YES!!!!!!!!" Merdey yelled ecstatically.

Meredy loved the carnival and Juvia knew this, and intended to take advantage of that

"Merds, that's not all."

"Oh, what else? Are we going to the Waterpark?" Meredy's eyes sparkled.

"No, not quite, Juvia had two extra leftover, sooooo."

"So, what?"

"Juvia gave the other two to Lyon-Sama and Gray-sama and told them to meet us there," Juvia said sheepishly

"Juvi!" the pinkette whined.

Juvia just laughed, Meredy had the biggest crush on Lyon and hated it when Juvia tried to set them up.

"Please, Juvia won't force you to be around him," Juvia said.

"Yeah right," Meredy said, rolling her eyes.

They pulled up to Juvia's house and walked inside. Meredy was always amazed at how well decorated her household was. It was always so clean. Contrary to Juvia’s adoptive family, who all looked very messy

The way the house looked and functioned would be considered normal until you saw Juvia’s adoptive family. The Redfoxes were very odd, 'that's a good word for it.' Meredy thought.

As Juvia and Meredy stepped in the living room, a loud crash, followed by a string of curses were heard from the garage.

The door of the garage opened, and a tall tan man stepped inside the house, covered in sweat and soot, and grumbling about how his head hurt.

“Hi, Uncle”

He nodded at the two girls

“What was that Noise?” Meredy asked cautiously, Metalicana terrified her and she was very nervous around him.

“I was trying a grad a tool, and all my other tools fell down” he grumbled

“Were you standing on something you shouldn't have been” Juvia questioned

“Nooooooo”

Juvia rolled her eyes at her adoptive father

“Aunty isn’t going to like that there is soot everywhere.”

“Kan isn’t home right now.”

“Well once she comes home she’s going to be upset.”

Metalicana rolled his eyes at his daughter.

“What are you guys doing tomorrow?” Metalicana changed the topic

"We're going on a double date tomorrow."

"Are you going out with that Fullbuster boy again.”

"Yes, Uncle,”

“Wait, wait. You are going on a date and dragging me along, and I am being forced to hang out with your boyfriend's stepbrother,” Meredy defended herself.

Metalicana looked at the girls confused and shook his head. “Whatever I'm ordering Chinese.”

“We are eating in Juvia’s room,” Juvia said grabbing Meredy’s hand and pulling her up the stairs

Metalicana nodded as the girls went into juvia’s room

The walls were a light blue. Her bed had a white comforter and black sheets underneath, With some midnight blue velvet pillows. She had a TV in her room and even a mini-fridge. Her trophies for swimming had replaced the dolls she used to sew of her crush, Gray, but since they had started dating she had stopped sewing her gray dolls collecting pictures of him, etc.

Juvia jumped on her bed with Meredy and pulled out the remote and turned on the Television. She had put in a fantasy movie that Meredy had never heard of. "Soooo," Juvia said "What," Meredy said gulled to the screen. "Lyon told me something..."

"MmHmm," Meredy said, not looking at her friend, she knew where this was headed.

"He likes a girl..."

"I don't care."

"With pink hair."

"Probably Sherry"

"Nah She's dating Ren."

"Since when?"

"About 3 months ago."

"Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her."

"The girl Lyon likes he said she was kind."

"Don't care."

"She used to be really rude."

"Sounds like you," Meredy said, not looking away from the T.V

Juvia then shoved her off the bed, Meredy laughed while tumbling off the bed

"Meredy He likes YOU!"

"Don't get my hopes up" Meredy mumbled.

"You like him, you like him," Juvia teased.

After Juvia continuously said this for about 30 minutes, Meredy caved, "OK, I LIKE HIM!"

"Juvia knew it!"

"Ugh, Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"You know it" Juvia giggled at the pinkette.

*Time Skip: 12 hours*

It was around 8, and the girls were getting ready, how they got up so early is a mystery.

"Meredy, can you do Juvia lashes."

"Fine"

"Thanks. I'm horrible at them" Meredy rolled her eyes, Juvia really was terrible at makeup, no matter how many times her “mom” tried to teach her how to do it.

"All right, Done."

"Thanks"

"Which do you think I should wear?" Meredy asked her friend. She held up an oversized pastel pink hoodie with jean shorts and magenta crop top with white jean shorts

"Second, with black sneakers and rose gold hoops."

"Which one?" Juvia proceeded to hold up 2 outfits. A grey crop top with midnight blue jean shorts and Grey tank top with blue skirt

"Grey tank top with shorts and white converse with those cross earrings gray got you that match his necklace."

"Thanks, Meredy" Juvia said running into her room to get changed

*Time skip 1 hour*

Gray and Lyon waited outside the carnival.

"How much longer till we can go in, so I can beat you at some carnival games," Lyon asked Gray, teasingly.

"I don't know it's not like I track my girlfriend."

"What do you mean you have a tracker on her phone." "I do not. Her dad took it off" Gray mumbled the last part, and Lyon stifled a laugh

"Gray-sama, please stop fighting with Lyon-sama," Juvia said, walking towards her boyfriend.

"Hi, Lyon" Meredy waved at the white-haired boy.

When Lyon saw her, his cheeks went pink. Gray elbowed his brother in the rib cage and pushed him towards the pinkette. "Hey you look nice" "Thanks, you too" An Awkward silence rushed over the two flustered students

"Meredy, Let's show these guys we can beat them at any game," Juvia said, knowing that would make Meredy excited, she was very competitive.

"Come on Lyon so I can beat you," Meredy said, grabbing his hand.

Gray Laughed at his blushing stepbrother, getting dragged away by his crush. "Gray-Sama" "MmmHmm," he said, pulling her closer towards him. "Juvia is gonna beat you," Juvia said, running away "Good Luck!" Gray yelled at his girlfriend as he ran after her

*Time Skip 2 hours*

The entire morning was full of the 4 high schoolers playing carnival games, fighting (mostly by Gray and Lyon), Laughter and blushing. "Hey is 12 we should really get something to eat," Lyon commented. "Sure, could you and Meredy go get some pizza, Juvia needs to talk to Gray real quick," Juvia asked Lyon, totally not trying to get Lyon and Meredy alone together. Meredy was about to deny her request, but Lyon jumped in "Sure Juvia." Lyon pulled Meredy towards the food.

"Hey, You're a girl right," Lyon asked

"Last time I checked," Meredy said smiling

"So, there's a girl."

"MmHmm" Meredy tried her best not to feel jealous

"I really like her."

"Then, tell her."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"She's too good for me."

"Lyon if you like her, then just tell her."

"Can I practice on you."

Meredy stopped walking, she should have known he would have asked that Lyon always said 'If you don't practice you can't accomplish most things.' Knowing Lyon wasn't going to give up, why was she friends with such stubborn people, she agreed.

"Okay," Lyon took a breath. "Hey, I like you."

"Now just tell that to the girl you like," Meredy said.

"I just did," Lyon said, scratching his head.

Meredy's eyes went wide. Lyon, one of the most popular boys at Fiore high, liked her, the dorkiest girl at her school. "Why?" was Meredy's response. Lyon could have any girl he wanted, but he chooses a girl who could drag down his reputation in mere seconds.

"Because you aren't like all the other girls at our school, you are passionate about everything you do, you aren't stuck up, and you make me feel like a normal person, you don't treat me like some celebrity, you aren't afraid of teasing me and I need a girl that can do that."

"Lyon, I think I like you too." Lyon sighed, clearly relieved.

"That's a lot better than you not liking me." Lyon smiled.

"We should probably go get the pizza now," Meredy said.

"Yep," Lyon said, grabbing her hand and walking her towards the pizza place.

Elsewhere (totally not sitting at a table so they could overhear Meredy and Lyon) were Gray and Juvia. Juvia was squealing her heart out.

"They like each other, soon they'll start dating."

"Now that you got them together can you stop trying to play matchmaker and focus on us," Gray said, hugging his girlfriend's waist.

“Maybe, only if Mira doesn’t recruit Juvia to do more work.”

"We're back," Lyon said, holding Meredy's hand and the pizza.

Juvia smiled at the new couple

*Time Skip 8 hours*

The rest of the day was spent with Juvia teasing Meredy about her new boyfriend, Gray and Lyon trying to see who can get their respective girl more stuffed animals (Spoiler alert It was a tie, the rivalry continues). They had a lot of fun. Lyon offered to take Meredy home, and Meredy agreed.

"Thanks," Lyon told Meredy as they were driving to the girl's house

"For what" Meredy seemed very confused

"Not rejecting me."

"Why would I, I've liked you since I met you."

"I'm just so happy, I now have a girlfriend who is sweet, kind, not stuck up."

"Thanks, I think," The new couple talked the entire way home.

They pulled up to Meredy's house, Lyon hopped out of the car to open the door for Meredy. He hugged his new girlfriend.

"Bye Meredy"

"Bye Lyon" Meredy quickly ran inside, excited to tell her 'sister/mom' Ultear. Also, to make sure her 'brother' Jellal doesn't kill her new boyfriend.

Gray and Juvia were also on there way home, Juvia was talking to Mira the whole time theme planning the following methods to get their ships together. 'Man' Gray thought to himself, 'I love my girlfriend.'

I love Double Date AU's. Also, Lyredy and Gruvia are two of my favorite ships. Anyways I hope you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading. BYEEEEEEEE

-Z.Z Loch

#gruvia fanfiction #gruvia #lyredy #lyredy fanfiction #gray #juvia #meredy #lyon #my trash writing #zzloch #jujulock

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citizenscreen · 6 years ago

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When you find out Turner Classic Movies (TCM) is spotlighting la grand dame of movies as their Star of the Month in November, you know you have a lot to be thankful for. Few actors can help you take your mind off your troubles more effortlessly than Bette Davis and few could be as bitchy doing it. Bette Davis was a gem. I invite you let me know what your favorite Bette Davis movies are as you watch them on TCM. I’m @CitizenScreen on Twitter, Citizen Screen on Facebook, or simply leave a comment down below.

The TCM Bette Davis month-long festival begins on Tuesday, November 5 with films starring Davis from the 1930s. Each week features a different time period of her career through the 1960s. I’m particularly excited about the Davis films I’ve yet to see like William Dieterle’s Fog Over Frisco (1934) and Bretaigne Windust’s June Bride (1948), but the month is replete with Davis standards everyone must see. To me this is a perfect opportunity to turn people into classics fans. Bette Davis has the kind of presence that makes it impossible to ever forget her.

“That’s me: an old kazoo with some sparklers”

I should mention that William Wyler’s The Letter, one of my favorite Bette Davis films will not air as part of the November festival. It will be featured on TCM in December instead. During this festival, however, you will be treated to such enduring classics as Jezebel, Dark Victory, All About Eve and cult favorites like What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? in addition to many less known features plus a few surprises. As you plan for family gatherings, include a Bette Davis movie or two or three. They’ll bring you closer together.

in ALL ABOUT EVE

in JEZEBEL

in MARKED WOMAN

in DARK VICTORY

in DEAD RINGER

in OF HUMAN BONDAGE

There are a few other interesting festivals on TCM in November: Wednesdays will feature movies celebrating the 100th anniversary of the American Society of Cinematographers, Dennis Miller and Friends offers an eclectic array of films from various eras, and daily spotlights include the films of the great John Ford, to name a few happenings. It will be a busy month for movie fans. Have fun.

Quotable Davis:

Bette Davis remains one of the most quotable Hollywood figures in history. At least by my estimation and with good reason as you’ll see. I can’t resist her and offer some of my favorite Davis quotes about life, the film industry, Hollywood players, acting and Bette Davis. This should hold you over from Tuesday to Tuesday during her Star of the Month tribute.

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.

Old age is no place for sissies.

Everybody has a heart. Except some people.

I was a person who couldn’t make divorce work. For me, there’s nothing lonelier than a turned-down toilet seat

I’m the nicest goddamn dame that ever lived.

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn’t consider dying.

I am just too much.

From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.

[referring to her parents’ divorce when she was 7] Of course I replaced my father. I became my own father and everyone else’s.

[on Greta Garbo] Oh, Garbo was divine. Soooo beautiful. I worshipped her. When I became a star, I used to have my chauffeur follow her in my car. I always wanted to meet her.

Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should all be bigger than life.

I never did pal around with actresses. Their talk usually bored me to tears.

There was more good acting at Hollywood parties than ever appeared on the screen.

Hollywood always wanted me to be pretty, but I fought for realism.

In this business, until you’re known as a monster you’re not a star.

Today everyone is a star – they’re all billed as ‘starring’ or ‘also starring’. In my day, we earned that recognition.

[about Katharine Hepburn‘s tie for the 1968 Oscar with Barbra Streisand] I wanted to be the first to win three Oscars, but Miss Hepburn has done it. Actually it hasn’t been done. Miss Hepburn only won half an Oscar. If they’d given me half an Oscar I would have thrown it back in their faces. You see, I’m an Aries. I never lose.

My favorite person to work with was Claude Rains.

[on John Wayne] I certainly would have given anything to have worked with John Wayne. He’s the most attractive man who ever walked the earth, I think.

[on Errol Flynn] He was just beautiful . . . Errol. He himself openly said, “I don’t know really anything about acting,” and I admire his honesty because he’s absolutely right.

Davis’ most memorable quotes pertained to Joan Crawford with whom she shared a legendary rivalry.

[on working with Joan Crawford in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)] We were polite to each other – all the social amenities, ‘Good morning, Joan’ and ‘Good Morning, Bette’ crap – and thank God we weren’t playing roles where we had to like each other. But people forget that our big scenes were alone – just the camera was on me or her. No actresses on earth are as different as we are, all the way down the line. Yet what we do works. It’s so strange, this acting business. It comes from inside. She was always so damn proper. She sent thank you notes for thank you notes. I screamed when I found out she signed autographs: ‘Bless you, Joan Crawford.’

[After hearing that Joan Crawford cried copiously over “Dark Victory”] Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be very close to her bladder.

[Of her longtime rival] We must hand it to her. Where she came from and all that–she accomplished *much*. She became a movie star, and I became the great actress. There is of course a need for both in this business, but you have to know *when* to put a stop to the nonsense that goes with the job. Stars are people *too*. They have to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom too, without applause or a standing ovation. But I don’t *think* Joan Crawford ever sleeps. She never *quits* being Joan Crawford. I find that tedious and quite insane.

I was not Miss Crawford’s biggest fan, but, wisecracks to the contrary, I did and still do respect her talent. What she did not deserve was that detestable book written by her daughter. I’ve forgotten her name. Horrible. I looked at that book, but I did not need to read it. I wouldn’t read trash like that, and I think it was a terrible, terrible thing for a daughter to do. An abomination! To do something like that to someone who saved you from the orphanage, foster homes, who knows what. If she didn’t like the person who chose to be her mother, she was grown up and could choose her own life. I felt very sorry for Joan Crawford, but I knew she wouldn’t appreciate my pity, because that’s the last thing she would have wanted, anyone being sorry for her, especially me.

[when told by director Robert Aldrich that the studios wanted Joan Crawford as her co-star for Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)] I wouldn’t piss on Joan Crawford if she were on fire.

[on Joan] She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why [Joan Crawford] always plays ladies.

[on the death Joan] You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

[Joan Crawford] and I have never been warm friends. We are not simpatico. I admire her, and yet I feel uncomfortable with her. To me, she is the personification of the Movie Star. I have always felt her greatest performance is Crawford being Crawford.

The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

“I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oftentimes disagreeable. I suppose I am larger than life.”

Bette Davis Spotlighted on TCM in November When you find out Turner Classic Movies (TCM) is spotlighting la grand dame of movies as their Star of the Month in November, you know you have a lot to be thankful for.

#Bette Davis #TCM

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diyunho · 7 years ago

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The Joker x Reader - “Unexpected”

The two main departments in the Shadow World are always competing: “Villains That Hate Each Other” division wants villains to detest their peers, while “Match Made In Hell” agency wants villains to fall in love. Very competitive departments, always fighting to steal the glory from one another. And the rivalry is about to escalate since the infamous Joker and notorious Y/N don’t even know they are about to change the balance in the Underworld. If it only was that easy…

“Hello, Mister Joker,” you greet as you enter the room set up for the meeting at his hideout near Gotham’s Art Museum. As soon as your eyes meet his, your heart is beating faster:

Ughh, you can’t stand him.

“Hm, if it’s not my favorite person on the planet,” J growls, irritated Dixon is sending his daughter to negotiate… again. As soon as he sees that smug expression on your face, his heart is beating faster:

Ughh, he totally detests you.

In the Shadow World, the alarm starts blaring almost instantly: “Villains That Hate Each Other” department is in absolute chaos !

“Are you kidding me?!” the oldest entity screams with frustration. “ What the hell is going on?!”

The Dark Shadow is in charge of this esteemed division and not happy for the moment: he is watching the “Hate Statistics” concerning the infamous Joker and notorious Y/N going down with alarming velocity.

The other subordinates gathered around, astound at the emergency: two villains that are supposed to despise one another forever are beginning to gravitate towards the opposite.

“Ummm, I don’t think it’s looking good sir,” one of the Shadows points out the obvious and the boss retaliates.

“I can see that, you idiot!” he snaps, infuriated. “ Did something trigger this?!”

“Nothing in particular sir; the feeling is just growing stronger within both of them,” the youngest Shadow informs. “ Every time Y/N sees The Joker, she thinks she hates him, but she’s actually falling in love: she doesn’t know the difference. Same with The Joker: every time he sees Y/N he thinks he hates her but he’s actually falling for the woman; he doesn’t know the difference. “

“Absolutely horrible and unacceptable !” the venerable elder huffs, displeased. “We can’t lose them in favor of the other department !”

He is surely talking about the “Match Made In Hell” Division that pairs up villains: The Dark Shadows working there wanted you and The Joker together since you were born.

The two departments are always competing: “Villains That Hate Each Other” section wants villains to detest their peers, while “Match Made In Hell” wants villains to fall in love. Very competitive divisions, always fighting to steal the glory from one another.

“What are we going to do, Your Darkness?” the second in command asks.

“Not sure…” the leader debates. “Let’s see how it goes today and we’ll go from there. One thing is sure: we can’t lose them to the other department!” he sneers, annoyed with the excited screams coming from “Match Made In Hell” quarters: The Shadows there are celebrating, watching the “Love Statistics” for you and The Joker going up; they hoped that would happen for years!!!

***************

You ignore J’s remark, taking a sit in the chair in front of him.

The King of Gotham analyzes that perfect tailored suit you’re wearing: black pants and red jacket, staring at your cleavage for a few seconds without even realizing. A little bit of your lacy bra shows and for some reason it’s hypnotizing. I mean, he saw plenty of bras before but… “E-hem, “ you interrupt his thoughts, fake coughing since you noticed his eyes glaring at your boobs. “I think I bumped into your girlfriend on my way inside. Such a sweet, adorable girl,” you grin and realize he’s still gazing towards that captivating piece of bra stiking out on top of your low cut red jacket.

Sicko, you bite your lower lip and move in your sit in order to distract him.

The King of Gotham is finally paying attention and those intense blue eyes make you nervously bite on your cheek.

“Yeah, she’s soooo sweet,” he smirks, arrogant and full of himself.

“I guess you like sweet girls?” you sarcastically laugh and his smirk transforms into a frown.

“Excuse me?” J sucks on his teeth, considering twisting your neck until it snaps.

“I always see you with these obedient, little cute things,” you chuckle, not knowing why he’s getting on your nerves. “Don’t you actually want to work for it? Feels more rewarding, I’m telling you,” you cross your legs, concluding he definitely needs some love advice.

“Work for what?” the grouchy tone inquires.

“Ahhh, you know what I’m talking about,” you wink, amused.

“Why, you’re volunteering for a trial?” the even more bitter voice echoes in your ears.

“Not at all!” God forbids! you think, appalled. Me and him?! Yuck!

“Then why are you bringing that up?” he taps his fingers on his cane, the corners of his mouth lifted in a very entitled smile.

“Just making conversation, Mister Joker,” you sigh, realizing your eyes have been lingering around his abs and that almost unbuttoned shirt for too long.

His skin must be sooo soft, you catch yourself thinking while licking your lips. Oh, ewww, who cares?! you snap out of it, mad at your dumb self.

“Well then, let’s get down to business,” J impatiently blurs out. “How much is your father willing to pay for…”

“Misssterrrrrr Jaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy,” is heard on the hallway. “Miiiiisssterrr Jaaaaayyyyyy,” the whining gets closer.

The Joker’s left eye is twitching.

The screechy voice resonates one more time:

“Miiiiiisteeeerr Jaaaaaaaaayyyy, are you still here?”

He cringes and it makes you tilt your head with delight:

“I think your little girlfriend is back; yet you don’t seem excited,” and Y/N making fun of that right under his nose prompts the Clown Prince of Crime to growl:

“Shut up, woman and mind your own business!”

“I would if I could but that adorable girl is very distracting. How can we take care of our business if she snatches you away?“ you rightfully declare, changing the meaning of his words.” Men are helpless,” you get off your chair, stepping towards him. ”You need my expertise?” and the mischievous twinkle in your eyes creates a sudden surge of evilness within him also.

The Joker giving you a psychotic stare counts as approval: he needs a hand but too proud to ask.

What is she doing? J watches you, puzzled.

You take a deep breath and a seductive moan escapes your throat:

“Oh my Gooood, yeesss! Oh, Gooood, don’t stop!”

The Joker is taken aback by your provocative screams.

“Ahhh! Oh yes, that’s the spot, baby! Ahhhh, keep going Daddy!” you bend over and kiss him, then smear the red lipstick on his chin, pull on his shirt until his shoulders are completely exposed.

“Misssterrrrr Jaaayyyy,” his girlfriend knocks at the door, trying to open it. It’s always closed during negotiations because J doesn’t like his meetings interrupted. “What’s going on in there?” she frets, attempting to pry the door open.

“Oh, God, it feels so goooood”, you unbutton your jacket and toss it on the floor, panting and breathing really loud. You lower the straps of your bra in a hurry, unzipping his pants and yours too. J doesn’t stop you; he just enjoys the little show and how perfectly you fake it. “Ah, I think I’m close baby!”

More screams and moaning.

He doesn’t make a sound when you mess up his green hair; not a single protest against your action and he hates people touching his perfect locks.

You mess up your hair also, get a leg out of your pants and slowly limp towards the door with your compromising attire, while screaming so the girl can hear it.

You count up to 20 then open the door; she is banging at the heavy oak with her fists and gasps when she sees you like that.

You calmly blow the hair off your face, pulling up your underwear.

“What do you want?” you bark, moving out of the way so she can see The Joker peeled out of his shirt, sarcastically grinning.

“That’s …t-that’s my boyfriend!! “ she stutters, vexed to discover such atrocity unfolding in his office.

“So?! Wait for your turn, girl !” you huff, still panting. “I was almost there and you interrupted! That’s unacceptable!”

“W-what?! “

“ I don’t like my sexcapades coming at an abrupt halt because people can’t wait for their turn !” you lift your boobs in your bra, cracking your back in the process. “He’s mine for the next hour; come back afterwards!” and slam the door in her face, waiting.

“Miiisssstteerrrr Jaaaaaaayyyyyy,” the unbearable voice cries, “This is the last straw!!! I’ve tolerated enough!!! Do you hear me?! I am out of here and don’t try to stop me!”

You roll your eyes and hear his girlfriend stomp on the wooded floor, silence taking over afterwards.

“There, done. You’re welcome,” you nonchalantly dress up, getting in your pants again and picking up your jacket, buttoning up the silver clasps. ��Jesus, that voice she has!” you shiver, over exaggerating a bit.

“That was really good,” The Joker praises, fixing himself up. “You’re a good faker, you know that?”

“U-hum,” you agree, reprising your position on the chair in front of The King of Gotham.

“You have to do this pretty often?” he reaches for the cane and grabs it from the floor.

“Nope. As a rule, I never fake it: if a man can’t satisfy me, I am not going to strike his ego just because. No point in that,” the honest response makes J chuckle.

“I meant helping men getting rid of unwanted girlfriends,” he scratches his arm, eager to finish the negotiations after the eventful evening. “Back to business?”

“Of course,” you agree, just like nothing happened.

“You want something to drink?” The Joker offers and you nod a no.

“I’m good, thanks. OK, my father offers half a million dollars for the merchandise,” you bluntly bring the news to the King of Gotham.

“I want double,” J grumbles, certain he can get it.

“Half a million, Mister J.”

“NO, double!”

You stare at each other, visibly annoyed.

“Seven hundred thousand,” you cut him some slack, aware his merchandise is very good quality.

“One million!” he fights back.

“Seven fifty and you’re taking me to dinner!”

“Deal!” he is fast to agree before you finish. “Wait, what?!”

“You owe me and I’m hungry. Let’s go!” you signal him, getting up again.

“Not so fast ! I answered before debating!” J attempts to get out of it.

You open the door and turn around, exhaling.

“We’ll give you eight hundred thousand, alright? And you are still taking me to dinner!”

“I want a million!”

“Fine! “ you yell, irritated by how stubborn and obnoxious The Joker is all the time.

That’s why you can’t stand him.

“You’re still taking me to dinner! Tonight would be nice, Mister Joker. Come on, hurry up!” you almost get out of the office and he won’t budge.

“I need a few moments,” he mumbles.

“WHY?!” you almost shout, angered.

“I can’t walk properly; you got me all aroused with that terrific performance of yours. The effects are still lingering,” a not very enthusiastic Joker admits.

“Are you serious?” you cross your arms on your chest, antagonized.

“Yeap.”

“I don’t have time for this,” you step inside the room again, locking the door. “I want to go out and I can’t afford to wait until the effects of my show will naturally go away. We’ll just have to get it out of your system now,” you start undressing… again, this time for reals.

J is savoring the striptease, reckoning that even if he hates you, the night turned in his favor: he got his million, got rid of his girlfriend and he’s apparently going to have sex anyway.

I’m so amazing, he thinks, wrapping his arms around your waist when you straddle his lap.

You enjoy undressing him, realizing that even if you hate J, the night turned in your favor: you had fun, got the confirmation of your awesome manipulating abilities and you’re going to have sex on top of it.

Not too bad for two people detesting each other.

***************

You enter the restaurant, closely followed by The Joker. The waiter greets both of you, straining not to glare like an idiot at the two regular guests. Why?

Because The Clown Prince of Crime and Y/N seem they just escaped some kind of war: J has his lip busted and scratches standing out on his pale skin, not that he tries to hide it; his shirt is still unbuttoned but at least he can walk normal.

You have hickeys and bites all over your neck and cleavage and some other places for sure, not that you try to hide it: you’re not using a scarf or anything. Why bother? At least made it to dinner on time and that’s what you wanted.

Once you are sited at the table, you scrawl through the menu, not sure on what you crave.

“That was fun,” you open the conversation, reading through the pages of options.

“Did you fake it?” J casually brings it up since his pride is at stake, scrolling through his menu.

“I told you I don’t bother. If you heard any sounds coming out of me, they were genuine,” you smack your lips, his taste lingering in the back of your mind. “What about you? Did you fake it?”

“I purr and groan a storm only if I’m into it,” he explains, quickly glancing your way.“So if you heard any sounds coming out of me, they were authentic.”

“You did purr and groan a lot,” you smile, remembering how loud J was.

“Maybe I did, but your screams were deafening,” he snorts and it rubs you the wrong way.

“You were louder!”

“No, you were!” he defends his actions.

“You’re so cocky, you know that?!” you give him a mean stare and he returns the favor:

“And you’re atrocious, woman! I never want to see you again!”

“See me again?! Ha ! I would be insane to do that again!” you sulk, wanting to leave but you’re hungry.

The Joker feels the need to be a jerk but instead what comes out his mouth is this:

“Same time tomorrow then?”

“Yes,” you grouchily reply, not being able to concentrate on the food choices since your answer bothers the hell out of you.

******************

“Villains That Hate Each Other” and “Match Made In Hell” departments are stunned: The Joker’s and Y/N names are now showing in both divisions. The “Hate Statistics” and “Love Statistics” keep going up and down, but the names stay on the boards for both sectors.

It’s the first time in The Shadow World when two competitive agencies are not divided but united by their villains: the two humans love and hate each other in the same time with such ferocity it’s impossible to break the connection.

And nobody can say they’re faking it.